The proper way to act around a drunk college girl

I’m really trying not to be political here ... but you l know who doesn’t get accused of harassing or assaulting women? People who respect women. I’m just saying. 

It was a warm November evening in Florida, 20ish years ago. And I was lightly stumbling along the streets of Downtown Disney with my then new girlfriend (who would go on to be my wife, then it gets complicated). We were in town for a college journalism convention, that night we gone on our first date it was to Pleasure Island (Disney’s adult area). I think we had Jell-O shots or some frozen boozy cocktails, or both. 

That part of the property just smells like fresh cut grass, unlike other parts that smell like fruit loops. Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes was playing over the well hidden speakers. Ani was stumbling a little more than me because she couldn’t hold her liquor then. She’s better now. 

We were in a fun place, away from home, and there were tons of quiet nooks that could have been perfect for some "after hours fun". But we crossed the boulevard and went back into the hotel we were all staying. I brought her to her room, said goodnight and then headed back to mine. I replayed the events of the evening. I didn’t mention it to any of my roommates because we were keeping it quiet. 

The next day one of her roommates mentioned to me that she was mad at me. Apparently she thought I was rejecting her since I didn’t make a move. We spoke about it and I said I wanted to "make a move" but since she was drunk I didn’t want do anything that she didn’t give consent to. All was good. 

I respected her enough as a human being that I didn’t want to take advantage of her. When I could have. No one had to tell me that you don’t do things to drink people because they can’t agree to it. Because it was common sense. I wouldn’t want someone to do something to me when I was not in a state of consent, so why would I do it to someone else. 

It's terrible that people need to be told that forcing themselves on someone else is wrong. I’m I saying I was raised better than the President, a Supreme Court nominee, a formerly beloved comedian, a swimmer, or countless Hollywood executives, not necessarily. But I have the decency to know when making an advance is appropriate. 

I hate that this is something that we have to reinforce to our sons and other boys and young men we influence, since they are inundated with images on TV and online saying that behavior is ok and the "boys will be boys". I also hate that we have to teach our daughters to be on the look out for this kind of behavior and try to reassure them that those same images they see are not normal and shouldn’t be tolerated.