My name is Niel ... I was a jerk today.

I removed my post from this morning because I was being a jerk. I was a dick. I was petty. I was mean. I am glad someone called me on it.

Last year when I relaunched this blog, I made a conscious effort to not be mean for mean sake. Or for comedy. I would be positive or at the very least honest. So in the spirit of honesty, my disdain for One Direction has nothing to do with their music or the repetition that I hear it. It is about realizing that I feel like I'm drifting away from my kids.

Yes they are growing and should have their own interests. Which is great and the fact they are so passionate about something is great. I started a job over the summer, actually six months ago last week. The job is overnight which is great, so I can be there for pick up from school and to take them here and there. But I feel half asleep while I'm awake. I can't. I physically can't be as present as I want to be.

Don't get me wrong I am grateful for the job. And even though it can be monotonous at times, the dollars I earn feel more real than one I had earned sitting behind a desk staring at a gigantic apple Cinema Display screen. But I am so drained. I know that my family notices. I am sorry.